the forgetting
How is the body a vessel for memory? How do the stories we recall and recount create who we are? And what happens when one can no longer remember their own story? These are the questions explored in this body of work through the lens of memory loss and family. I created these as part of the Masters of Fine Art program at Emily Carr University. The full artist statement follows the works.
Portrait of My Parents | willow charcoal, acrylic and oil on canvas | 140 x 110 cm | 2020
What Gets Passed Down | oil on canvas | 140 x 115 cm | 2020
Portrait of My Grandmother | acrylic oil paint on canvas | 174 cm x 116 cm | 2021
My Mother, The Bull | acrylic and oil on canvas | 178 cm x 110 cm | 2021
When I Dream of You... | oil on canvas | 170 x 100 cm | 2021
Perpetual Dreaming | oil on canvas | 179 x 122 cm | 2021
Searching for Mrs. Pape | charcoal, acrylic and oil on canvas | 198 cm x 122 cm | 2021
The Family | acrylic and oil on canvas | 198 cm x 122 cm | 2021
Unforeseeable Lines of Flight | acrylic and oil on canvas | 198 cm x 122 cm | 2021
Faculty Gallery, Emily Carr University
artist's statement
How is the body a vessel for memory? How do the stories we recall and recount create who we are? And what happens when one can no longer remember their own story? These are the questions explored in this body of work through the lens of memory loss and family.
As I navigate the impacts of my parents’ dementia, I explore the fluid nature of memory and the importance of memory in the making of the self through the construction of a personal narrative. My experiences of the chaotic, fragmented and disorienting effects of memory loss are expressed visually through a language based on line, fragmentation and the emotive use of colour. Inspired by the notion of memory as a trace—an electrochemical pathway that threads its way through the brain, over-writing and tracing a new path with every recollection—I use the meandering, probing gesture of the blind contour line to guide the process of my work.
Tied together with the contour line is the notion of the storyline. Using what is called episodic memory—the recalling of specific events in one’s life—we each string together narratives that tell us and others who we are. These stories are not constructed alone; we define ourselves in relation to others, and others also define us. This is especially true in the context of the family since it is here that our earliest and often most lasting conception of self is formed.
By layering and fragmenting the images, effacing the lines, and burying the information within the body of the work, the paintings acknowledge the complexity of truth, the ephemerality of memory and the layered and evolving nature of the human subject. The effects of dementia are like the breaking apart of the story. What is revealed is sometimes not what we expect and ultimately leads to the question “What can we truly know of others and ourselves?”
As I navigate the impacts of my parents’ dementia, I explore the fluid nature of memory and the importance of memory in the making of the self through the construction of a personal narrative. My experiences of the chaotic, fragmented and disorienting effects of memory loss are expressed visually through a language based on line, fragmentation and the emotive use of colour. Inspired by the notion of memory as a trace—an electrochemical pathway that threads its way through the brain, over-writing and tracing a new path with every recollection—I use the meandering, probing gesture of the blind contour line to guide the process of my work.
Tied together with the contour line is the notion of the storyline. Using what is called episodic memory—the recalling of specific events in one’s life—we each string together narratives that tell us and others who we are. These stories are not constructed alone; we define ourselves in relation to others, and others also define us. This is especially true in the context of the family since it is here that our earliest and often most lasting conception of self is formed.
By layering and fragmenting the images, effacing the lines, and burying the information within the body of the work, the paintings acknowledge the complexity of truth, the ephemerality of memory and the layered and evolving nature of the human subject. The effects of dementia are like the breaking apart of the story. What is revealed is sometimes not what we expect and ultimately leads to the question “What can we truly know of others and ourselves?”
other recent works for the Emily Carr mfa program
Willow Sculpture | willow, wool and cotton yarn | 180 x 60 x 60 cm | 2020
Willow Sculpture (detail) | willow, wool and cotton yarn | 180 x 60 x 60 cm | 2020
Great Mother Dress (front and side views) | canvas, acrylic and oil paint, velcro, wire | 167 x 80 x 80 cm | 2020
Great Mother Dress (back and side views) | canvas, acrylic and oil paint, velcro, wire | 167 x 80 x 80 cm | 2020